Effective Communication Tips for Women with Endometriosis - 15 Expert Recommendations

• Actively listen to what such a woman has to say: where necessary, be optimally present for her, maintain eye contact, and ask open-ended questions (those questions that allow the interlocutor to engage in a dialogue, rather than responding with a yes or no).
• Don’t interrupt her! Besides being impolite, when you interrupt the person telling you about her experience, you show superiority, indicating that you’re not interested in direct communication but, rather, in correcting, supplementing, or giving advice from your own experience. Often, this doesn’t help; each person needs to find their answers and solutions, not adopt those that may have worked in your case and may even be unsuitable for them.
• Allow yourself to be a mirror for the person in front of you – present the situation she presented using paraphrasing: “I’m repeating what you just said to see if I understood correctly what you’re going through.” Often, this shows the interlocutor not only that you hear her but also that you listen to her and position yourself with compassion toward her situation.
• Be present for her: with kindness, goodwill, understanding, and appreciation for her opening up to you, without criticism and judgment.
• Refrain from giving diagnoses! Even if you’ve researched a lot about endometriosis, even if you’re part of support groups where you notice all sorts of cases, what you know doesn’t give you the right to make a medical diagnosis! Only doctors have this status, and it’s important for the person concerned to turn to such an authority for answers.
• Remember that the symptoms of endometriosis can be common in the case of several medical conditions and ailments. Don’t attribute all the symptoms solely to endometriosis.
• Don’t offer absolute opinions for free like: “You surely have endometriosis if you feel this way”. Remember that everything you say to someone who doesn’t have a clear diagnosis yet or to someone who, like you, has endometriosis, can have a psychological impact, with serious consequences for that person. What are you basing your statement that she surely has endometriosis on? Your own experience alone is not enough to make such a statement without medical support. Are you able to subsequently bear her suffering? Can you support the emotional therapy she’ll need just because you traumatized her in that moment by presenting things like that?
• Give advice/opinions only when asked, and always mention that it’s your own opinion and experience. Free advice is worth nothing and, most of the time, it’s not used by the person you offer it to, as long as she didn’t ask for it directly and isn’t emotionally prepared to accept that option. Wait for her to ask for it, and then you can give an example from your history: “For me, it was like this… It worked for me… based on my experience, I can say that…”
• Don’t interpret medical tests if you’re not a doctor or don’t have expertise in this regard, based on training in the field or a broad casuistry that allows you to just give your opinion. Remember that the status of a doctor belongs exclusively to doctors.
• Don’t offer contraceptive recommendations! A big NO to such advice! Contraceptives are treatments offered by doctors based on medical history, specific tests, consultations, and imaging investigations, based on a clear diagnosis, after a personalized scheme for each patient. The adverse effects or possible complications that the patient may have and will assume herself, and you can carry the responsibility that you did her more harm, out of the desire to help her? Remember that what worked for you as treatment or helped you doesn’t mean it will be helpful for others. When we want to help others, especially with advice, subconsciously we position ourselves as saviors because we consider ourselves victims…
• Don’t offer recommendations for supplements/teas/tinctures/gemmotherapy/homeopathy/essential oils unless you’re a doctor, nutritionist, herbalist, or aromatherapist, all with training including on the medical side. Weekend courses taken online don’t give you the right to practice offering alternative treatments without a medical basis to speak from. Even plants can have extremely many adverse effects and can cause systemic and hormonal imbalances that, later on, the person in front of you will have to endure, without you having any responsibility for her health condition.
• Provide, support, and direct toward specialists! It’s the most helpful method for a person in distress.
• Create space and be emotional there for her! Sometimes, the greatest help for someone is to listen, to offer her a safe space where she feels comfortable talking about the situation she’s going through to hear herself, to listen to herself, and to find her answers.
• If you administer a support group or have founded an association that supports people with endometriosis and you already have extensive experience in constant work with medical professionals, collaborate with doctors, continuously learn from their expertise, have stood by them to learn from their practice, use these strengths when asked, but with the reservation that whatever you say comes only from your experience and the person asking for your opinion must always ultimately consider the advice of a doctor.
• Last but not least… try not to always be right! 🙂 Show compassion to those who have endometriosis or to women who are still looking for answers to their problems. In other words, be with them in spirit, and support them, but don’t speak from your traumas but, rather, from a state of detachment, love, kindness, goodwill, understanding, and appreciation. After all, you also need to know that you’re 1 in 10 who have endometriosis, and everything you say to others you say to yourself. So, as you would like others to treat you, offer first, as a manifestation, to others.

Don’t forget that action can sometimes be repaired once done, but a word thrown inappropriately can create a lot of harm that you won’t be able to change later on.

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